All:
I guess we can only describe the last twenty-fours hours as being chaotically joyful! As my wife put it to many of you yesterday, Elizabeth has busted out of the NICU and we are all home in Tyler resting (sort of) comfortably at our home with Caroline and Michael asking myriad questions on logistics of delivery (totally mom's area), why Elizabeth sleeps so much (my area); and when Elizabeth will want to play soccer (kind of both of our areas). Kathryn and I are sitting here basking in the blessed minutae of reacclimating ourselves to home and in shock as to how quickly and distinctly our plans for the next weeks have been realligned to where we could only hope we would be! God is good...all the time!
On Friday morning, Kathryn and I were heading to the NICU, kind of burdened down with the weight of knowing that we were going to be there for a while trying to get Elizabeth to feed regularly and in sufficient volume. While in the NICU scheme of things, it was realtively minor-- we were inordinately tired, worried and starting to feel the effects of having a family pulled apart by space and circumstance. We were still filled with the peace only God could provide, confident that He was holding us up and showing us the glory of His grace in every hour. And, we were in for the long haul to help Elizabeth take on whetever goals she had set for her to show the doctors that she truly is the miracle we knew she was. But, it was getting harder.
So, we got to the NICU steeled up for another day of feedings and small victories, when a new doctor arrived and changed everything. She asked Kathryn why Elizabeth was in the NICU, and Kathryn prepared to begin the long littany of discussion about Elizabeth's unique situation, but was cut off when the doctor said, "No, I know all that...but WHY are you all HERE?! She is not hooked up to any machine, she is only needing to feed and instead of being here trying to feed her, you need to take Elziabeth home and love on her and treat her like any other newborn. You are going to get discharged today..." Kathryn hugged her. Then, this doctor removed Elizabeth's feeding tube as it was not needed anymore as a supplemental feeding source. At this point, I think if Kathryn could hve gotten the paperwork together, we may have adopted this doctor as our own! It was a simply stunning turnaround that we never expected, but held out hope for during the last few days. After we confirmed that this dear lady was actually a doctor and was not some demented practical joker, we began to prepare to take our sweet strong daughter home for the first time. My parents were already on their way to Dallas anyway to see Elizabeth and we re-tasked them to help pack us up and caravan home. It has been pretty amazing to see how God had put all the right people in the right place to make this happen as smoothly as possible. The doctor who was allowing us to go home was a neonatalogist who was only at Presby-Plano that morning (half day) and would not rotate back there until July. I have no doubt in my mind that she was put there for the sole purpose of discharging us and giving us another opportunity to see God's unfailing grace in seemingly impossible circumstances.
So, dear friends, we are home. Elizabeth is continuing to do wonders in feeding and defying human expectations. She is a blessed little girl who has shown her mother and I the wonder and power of God. She has gotten comfortable quickly at home, holding court from her new Lamb swing, sweetly gripping her brother and sisters fingers with her hand as a sign of solidarity (we'll see about that!) and generally entering into the beloved chaos of our lives as simply as she can. She is awesome and we thank God every minute for her.
We continue to pray unceasingly for her to take her feedings and gain weight. We are doing all that we can to accomplish this. We also know that we may have several mountains to climb with her developmentally as we learn more about how unique and blessed she is. But, that in no way dilutes the unbeleivable week we have had, being privy to God's faithfulness and grace. The worry and stress and concern will never wane for us (in fact, it never does for any parent of any child, regardless of the circumstances) but it feels so much more attainable and sustainable with the knowledge of God's presence and each of your support and prayers. Again, we are humbled and amazed at the outpuring of support each of you has given. Thank you is never enough, but it will have to do for now. Please know that we continue to thank God for each of you and can only be amazed at each of your unfailing faith. You have taught us so much and are examples to us is so many ways.
On a final note, I have found myself reverting back to Exodus a lot during these days. I think that this particular time in history seems to resonate to me as an example of when people are faced with the crisis of the unknown. In particular, I have heard several times before that God only parted the Red Sea for the Isrealites when they dipped their foot in the water...in other words, you had to step out in faith and be willing to get hurt before God would show his great and unfailing love via a miracle. While our circumstance pales in comparison to that, it has taught us that we had to go through this experience--we had to dip our toes into the fear and terror of a horrible diagnosis, days in the NICU where you pleaded with God to let your baby girl eat enough to merit a pass without surgery, marinate in the fear that we, as parents, could do nothing to change the circumstances or make her eat-- before He would part the Red Sea and let us go home. God has unabashedly and without question done all of this for His glory. He deserves all accolades and honor. And, Kathryn and I will willingly dip our toes into any other water to allow Him to be seen like this again by others.
Thanks for humoring us in reading these e-mails. I will continue to update everyone on Elizabeth's progress and share vignettes of wonderful stories surrounding her journey. Each of you is dear to Kathryn and I and we look forward to sharing many more miraculous experiences with each other as we continue forward in life.
Matt
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